JOURNAL OF GERONTOLOGICAL COSMOLOGY Vol. 42, Issue 0 (2025) A Novel Anthropo-Cosmological Model Identifies Senior Waistband Levitation as the Primary Source of Dark Energy Dr. George W. Groovy, PhD, and T. Dancer, seamstress for the band* *Department of Elastic Dynamics, Intergalactic Institute of Trouser Studies Abstract For decades, cosmologists have been unable to determine the nature of “dark energy,” the enigmatic force responsible for the accelerating expansion of the u

But hunger remembered is not the same as hunger felt. Indeed, for some that’s the final cruel joke — that hard-won mastery of craft coincides almost to the minute with passion’s ebb. Art, offered shoulders to stand on, often as not demurs. — Richard Russo, “Getting Good” I always figured I was a capable enough writer to write a book if I really put my mind to it. Not Pulitzer Prize-winning Richard Russo good. Not as good as a moderately successful but frequently tipsy mystery

A Suburban Noir of Moral Guilt, Lawn Maintenance and the Abyss CAST The Beaver (Beaver Raskolnikov Cleaver):  A brooding 12-year-old philosopher convinced he’s destined for greatness and possibly also grounding. Wally:  Beaver’s brother, who is pretty sure existential torment is “like, for dweebs.” June Cleaver:  Makes casseroles and moral guilt with equal efficiency. Ward Cleaver:  The only man who can deliver a fatherly lecture with the gravitas of a shrewd and cunning inve