Last Nap with Mary Jane

by Tom Petty and the Heart Monitors

She grew old in an Indiana town Now she needs a chair every time she sits down Had a good-lookin’ mama who’s no longer around Fed her liver and onions with a side of frown Yeah, she grew up tall, now she’s shrunk just a bit But she’s still got opinions and her knickers don’t fit Well, she moved down here back in ’63 Turned out she did have to live like a refugee Said, “I dig you, baby, but my hip’s not provin’ — I’ll limp one aisle, then I’m gently movin’ … on, keep movin’ on …”

Transplants with Mary Jane One more step brings on knee pain I feel arthritis creepin’ in So I think I’ll lie back down again

Well, I don’t know, but I’ve been told “Stayin’ up past nine is mighty bold” I’m tired of pills, I feel entombed Tired of all these trips to her bathroom Oh my, my, oh heck yes Honey, put on that Walmart dress Grab me my teeth, put on thick socks We’ll lie in bed and tune in Fox

Stretch pants with Mary Jane The left thigh stain’s last night’s chow mein I feel nap time creepin’ in And I’m bored in this retirement lane again

There’s pigeons down by the pharmacy She yells at them like a banshee She’s standin’ there in orthopaedic shoes Arguin’ loudly with the CBC news Oh my, my, oh dear Lard Where’d I put my Medicare card? Finished the crossword so we watched TV Then napped for hours till she had to pee

Woke up alone in my recliner throne Remote in hand, but my shows were gone I hit redial, called my own phone Just to hear a voice that sounded like home

Last implants for Mary Jane One more time despite the cane Velcro no-slips creepin’ in Yeah, we’re old but still the same.