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Men? You're fired. Women Will Save Us

By David Sherman

Time for men to retire. We fuck everything up. Leave it to the women. They’re tougher and smarter and they dumped Trump.

There’s the “monster,” Veep-elect, Kamala Harris, who could keep Mike Pence as a house pet.

There’s the Michigan Three: Governor Gretchen Whitmer, Attorney General Dana Nessel and Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson. Even General Motors, home to Corvettes, Camaros and young men’s wet dreams, has a CEO named Mary. The dick in the oval office aimed his guns at them, quack Dr. Atlas urged citizens to “Rise up,” against Whitmer as he encourages contagion spread. They brushed them off like lint.

There’s Stacey Abrams, won Georgia, now aiming to make sure Dems take the senate. Don’t bet against her. Yeah, Nancy Pelosi ripped Trump’s State-of-the Union speech in half in front of his eyes but there are a quartet of young, progressive Congresswomen known as “the Squad,” a stew of backgrounds and colours who gave Big Don and his GOP toadies the finger.

New York State attorney-general Letitia James is hammering away at his penchant for fraud and will undoubtedly indict him once he’s bunking at Mar-a-Lago, screaming “rigged election,” still jacking up room rates and steak prices and profiting exorbitantly from the Secret Service, who’d probably be happy to let him drown in a water trap.

Maybe they’ll chase him into the arms of Vlad, who probably hasn’t changed the sheets since Don’s last golden visit.

Women reporters like Maggie Haberman and CNN’s Kaitlin Collins who dug into him, at him and enraged him but took no shit.

Polls show white men without university favoured Trump, but he nauseated most women. Many men excuse his behaviour, maybe even applaud it, while women organized, sent e-mail, knocked on doors, sat on phones, conscripted, co-opted, arm twisted and got out the vote.

Their message was simple, “Don’t mess with us. We will destroy you,” and they did.

Suburban women next door, roared. Black, white, Latino said “enough.”

Confessed serial molester, Peeping Tom, accused rapist and adulterer, he’s the kind of guy they warn their daughters about.

This from the New York Times, before the election, quoting Lori Goldman. After the 2016 election she formed Fems for Dems, a group for suburban women in Oakland County that’s grown to 9,000. “If I was not subjected to the PTSD of 2016, I could probably say I feel very comfortable that we’ll prevail,” she said of Democrats’ chances. “But I won’t take that for granted. Women blame themselves. I blame myself that I didn’t bloody my knees, crawling to more houses, knocking on more doors to get more people to vote in 2016. But that’s in the past. No one is going back to sleep. No one’s going back to their La-Z-Boy. We’re here to stay.”

What’s with those with external genitals? Do some men envy his freedom to paw women, stiff creditors and taxmen and speak “the truth” about race and riots while most women think he’s full of shit?

Maybe many feel the same about their husbands

The other message is, what many men have long realized, women are the master gender. They not only put up with men, known for our penchants for sofas, trucks, alcohol and general ignominy, they suffer the pangs of birth and child rearing, the monthly reminder of being a woman, as well as fencing in the blood sport of office and government politics and inured sexism.

Women are the caregivers, the moderators, the engravers of a line in the sand. He has contempt for women, and that pisses them off, too. And many are off to Georgia to try and wrestle the Senate away from the GOP, the media’s next obsession.

Now, there are exceptions which news junkies know all too well. Kelly Anne Conway of “alternate facts” fame; Kayleigh McEnany, who might be a robot; Hope Hicks, whose qualifications for “senior adviser” seem to be career as a model and a publicist and looking good in long coats. They, like the men, left their spines at the door.

Women will not save America’s soul, the tattered dark remnants, anyways, that Biden and the chattering class told us was at stake in this election. The U.S. lost its soul a long time ago.

But, maybe this election was a battle for sanity and civility and women rescued more than their share.

Guys, go get your slippers and pipe, make your own dinner, pop a beer and leave the women save the world.

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