Only Sixty

She was only sixty, only sixty,

But I loved her so.

Her back was too stiff to dance at night,

And I was sclerotic and slow.

We’d laugh and we’d sing and do cautious things,

Till her hip said “hello … ,”

For she was too stunned to fall in love,

And I was a bit of a schmo.

So why did I give my heart so fast?

It never will happen again.

For I was a mere washed-up hippie,

I’ve lost an ear since then.

She was only sixty, only sixty,

Ooh, with bifocals’ glow.

But she couldn’t see where she set the tea,

My eyes were too blurry to know.

She tripped on her rug, spilling her mug,

Set her walker to “GO!”

Let go of the brake and gave it a shove,

And it ran right over my toe.

So why did I give my heart so fast?

It better not happen again.

For I had a mere plugged artery,

I’ve lost two valves since then.

She was only sixty, only sixty,

Ooh, with gums all aglow.

She’d leave her teeth in a glass by the bed,

At that point I should have said whoa.

Her glasses (all three), fell off in the tea,

Her Fitbit declared her a ghost.

Her ankle went crack, my hip hollered back,

Her memory foam ate my toast.

So why did I give my heart so fast?

It never will happen again.

For I was a child of the Sixties,

Been sixty years since then.

She was only sixty, only sixty,

Ooh, but I love her so.

Her scooter took off at full turbo-mode,

I thought the gear was on low.

Her oxygen tank shot off up the bank,

Knocked over the neighbour’s clay gnome.

Her scooter misfired, blew off all the tires,

And launched me clean over the home.

She was only sixty, only sixty,

Ooh, but I love her so.

She can’t recall where she left her keys, Instead of her beau, I’m a crow.