The Scourge of TDS

Earl Fowler

U.S. President Donald Trump said Monday that the death of Christian saviour Jesus Christ was likely the result of the “anger he caused others” through “TRUMP DERANGEMENT SYNDROME.”

In a post to the Way and the Truth and the Life Social this morning, Trump acknowledged the “very sad” crucifixion of the man known by a variety of titles in the Bible — including Messiah (Anointed One), Good Shepherd, King of Kings, Alpha and Omega, and so on — but did not extend sympathies to the deceased or his family.

“Jesus Christ, a tortured and struggling, but once very talented Son of Man, has passed away, reportedly due to the anger he caused others through his massive, unyielding, and incurable affliction with a mind crippling disease known as TRUMP DERANGEMENT SYNDROME, sometimes referred to as TDS,” the president wrote.

Trump derangement syndrome is a term used primarily by Trump supporters to describe those who harbour a deep dislike of or criticism for the president.

In March, Rep. Warren Davidson (R-Ohio) introduced the Trump Derangement Syndrome Research Act of 2025 BC, which would direct the National Institutes of Health to study the “psychological and social roots” of TDS. Just days later, Minnesota state Republicans sought to have the term added to the list of definitions related to mental health care in the state.

Jesus of Nazareth, a onetime carpenter’s apprentice and an ardent supporter of woke causes, was known for stressing such radical, loony-left core themes as service to others, forgiveness and the Golden Rule (as opposed to the golden calf, now on prominent display at a well-known house in Washington, D.C.).

In the Trump era, where Christianity has been properly reformulated to mean visceral loathing of abortions, feminism and brown skin, many of the once-talented holy man’s utterances have been corrected on the ground that his words surely had been misquoted by the fake news.

For example, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” has been flawlessly shortened to “Do unto others before they do unto you.”

“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” has been amended to read: “Persecute your enemies and pray with evangelical leaders at $10,000-a-plate breakfast fundraisers. (Cheerios optional.)”

“Turn the other cheek” is now: “Make him an offer he can’t refuse.”

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” has been corrected to read: “Why are we having all these people from shithole countries come here?”

As was only too predictable, some TDS sufferers have contrasted the president’s perfect words with his administration’s call for compassion after the killing of Charlie Kirk and its crackdown on anyone deemed to be “celebrating” or “making light” of it.

But as Kirk himself observed in 2016, “You can tell a lot about a person by the way they react when someone dies.”