A Momoiring Medley: New tracks for our times
Updated: Jan 10, 2023
There was a time when songs about mothers were heartfelt and limned in love.
M is for the million things she gave me
O-T-H-E-R is for the other things she did...
But on the cusp of a clearer-eyed new year, in the new clearer-eyed world of today, I cannot help revisiting the world of momoirs, churning with the dark side of mothering and its maleficences, from palaces to peanut galleries, princes royal to princes and princesses Jewish, shrewish and boohoo-ish. And I see the need for a new momusical genre.
Herewith, some numbers to kick it off:
MOMOIRAMA -- THE NEW MUSICAL
1. Song of The Feeble Fleck of Flotsam
I
My mommy was a monster
My daddy was too distant
Though dead and gone they linger on
How could I be resistant?
CHORUS
Yumbiddybiddybiddy yumbiddybum
Yumbiddybiddybiddybum
From out the grave his soul they crave
How could he be resistant?
II
Poleaxed progenitorially
I'm a feeble fleck of flotsam
No character no will no balls
Ain't my fault I don't gots 'em.
Yumbiddybiddybiddy yumbiddybum
Yumbiddybiddybiddybum
You can't hold him accountable
He's just a feckless fleck of flotsam.
III
Adrift on life's cruel ocean
I brave the waves, all rudderless
I weave, I bob, can't keep a job
Why wasn't I born mudderless?
Yumbiddybiddybiddy yumbiddybum
Yumbiddybiddybiddybum
No character no will no balls
Their monster mum made them a bum
Got no gestalt, it ain't their fault
Why wasn't they born mudderless!
2. Song of the Undermined Unbearables
This one hasn't got a mother
That one has one, but she's the worst
Another one was dirty done by both mom and pop
He would off them in a minute if they hadn't gone and kicked off first..
(...the cowards...)
O feel their pain, their parented purgatory
Fadoodled faduddled and forlorn
No, they never were consulted, so no wonder they're insulted
Now they need to sell their story, spill their guts and get some glory
'Cause they never asked to be, should never have been tasked to be
Never asked to be born...
(nor ever would have)
They never asked to be born
(you forced it on them)
No, they never asked to be born
(they came out screaming)
No, they never ever ever ever ever asked...
To be born!!
(it's all on youuuuu...)