Parable of the Prodigal Scum

Earl Fowler

Top five reasons former Saskatchewan cabinet minister and convicted murderer Colin Thatcher, who served 22 years for the fatal shooting and brutal bludgeoning of ex-wife JoAnn Wilson in her Regina garage in the 1980s, attended this week’s tough-on-crime* throne speech at the provincial legislature as an honoured guest of Saskatchewan Party MLA Lyle Stewart:

5) Scott Moe government wanted to demonstrate its deep concern for and sincere solidarity with women caught in abusive relationships.

4) Confused occasion with concurrent Antiques Roadshow gaudy vest and bolo tie event at the nearby Cornwall Centre mall.

3) Perfect opportunity to finally retrieve 1983 Smith & Wesson M&P subcompact from wonky floorboard under the Speaker's chair.

2) Thatcher a gracious last-minute replacement after it turned out that both Claus von Bülow and Robert Durst had previous engagements.

1) The 84-year-old satanic spawn of former premier Ross Thatcher — the spoiled scion, a lifelong bully to whom Stewart referred as a “fine individual” in a chilling nod to Donald Trump’s “very fine people on both sides” at Charlottesville — was in fact back at the ranch, minding his own business, during his entire alleged appearance in the legislature. You know. Deny, deny, deny.

* Noteworthy commitment in the speech: “Many Saskatchewan residents see the federal government as too lenient on violent offenders who commit gun crimes and too focused on punishing law-abiding gun owners. This session, my government will take significant action to crack down on the illegal and violent use of firearms in the commission of crimes to ensure families feel safe in their communities.”