Stunning new choice for U.S. Supreme Court could break Senate deadlock

Media personality and socialite hopes to follow in the footsteps of President Abraham Lincoln by skipping law school and becoming a lawyer through “reading the law.”


BREAKING NEWS / Special to GOS

Frustrated GOP senators mired in examining Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson for her US Supreme Court nomination can take new hope from the appearance of a stunning new, shoo-in contender, if they can just keep the hearings going for another couple of years.


Beauteous billionaire chest-feeder Kim KeepingUpWithTheKs --who goes by Kim KUWTK-- has passed her "baby bar" exam, and would be eligible for appointment within three years--less, if, as widely rumored, she is allowed to fast-track by the new Trump administration, once the national vote is correctly re-counted.


As explained in Vogue Magazine, in a lengthy piece documenting Ms KUWTK's triumph,

the “baby bar” is the special bar exam required for would-be California lawyers who opt to learn the law through apprenticeship instead of law school. And in doing so, Ms KUWTK will take her place among the legends.


“It wasn’t until the early 1800s that a law degree was even a thing. Everyone apprenticed with a lawyer or judge, and even after colleges began offering law courses, many still chose apprenticeship -- including no less a figure than Abraham Lincoln."


Fortunately for California-resident Kim, her state is one of only four that allow aspiring lawyers to take the bar exam by learning the law in this manner.


“I failed this exam 3 times in 2 years, but I got back up each time and studied harder and tried again until I did it!!!” exulted Ms KUWTK on her Instagram feed, pointing out that this was despite having had COVID-19 and a 104(F) degree fever on her third try.


The law candidate's late father, Robert Kardashian, a member of the defense team that successfully defended O.J. Simpson on murder charges, was another legendary graduate of the "baby bar" system.


“I know my dad would be so proud and he would actually be so shocked to know that this is my path now, but he would have been my best study partner,” Ms KUWTK Instagrammed. “I am told he was notorious for making fun of people who didn’t pass on their first attempt like he did, but he would have been my biggest cheerleader!”



Vogue featured her future Supreme Court appointment outfit on its cover: a classic black suit, with a classic KUWTK hack: jacket ajar to display jugs.


She told Vogue that her plans for formal legal and judicial glory were spurred in a meeting with then-still-legally President Donald Trump, who proudly averred: “...With the exception of Abraham Lincoln, nobody has done what I've done for prison reform."


As part of her own new program for prison reform, proceeding one PR photo at a time, she had gained an audience with the then pussy-grabber-in chief, to urge him to commute the sentence of 63-year-old Alice Marie Johnson, sent to prison more than 20 years ago for drug possession and money laundering.



Trump's rapid agreement to commute the sentence ignited Ms KUWTK's fervour to go as far as the law allowed, and dedicate herself to good works, no matter what the cost.



She was assisted in "studying [for her baby bar] with the co-founders and policy director of a criminal-justice reform group called #cut50. Two of the lawyers showed up to help West study one afternoon while a Vogue reporter was there."


“First year of law school,” Ms KUWTK told Vogue, “you have to cover three subjects: criminal law, torts and contracts...The reading is what really gets me. It’s so time-consuming. The concepts I grasp in two seconds...To me, torts is the most confusing, contracts the most boring, and," she added, with the refreshing frankness that has marked her rise, although she named no names, "crim law I can do in my sleep."


In the meantime, she has not flagged in her commitment to the people depending on her product-profusion, and begging for more. "You asked, we listened!" she announced, presenting her new beachwear line," S-KIM OR SINK" -- with the fabled KUWTK commitment to letting it all hang out.




What I look like in my new swimwear What you look like in my new swimwear

What does the future hold? We can only wait and hope the headlines speak truth. Kanye, eat your heart out.


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